We put together a five man crew to head to Montreal. We all met up Thursday night at the Brooklyn Banks for the first time, but before that no one had met more than one or two of the crew before. This turned out to not matter at all. Vinny, Jeff, Ty, and those two burnt dudes from Skate Jawn.
Friday 10 am:
Throw our bags together, almost forget a passport, lose a joint in the van, and hit the road.
5 pm: Stop at a rest stop about 20 miles from the Canadian border to gas up and take leaks. We notice the bathroom has a completely normal shower in it that anyone could use at any time. As we’re impressively buying stuff that wasn’t beer we ask the guy behind the counter what was up with it. He made us lean closer over the counter and whispered: “A few days ago someone shit all over the shower in there. I wouldn’t use it if I were you. You can’t bleach it enough.”
6:30 pm: We hand Officer Tremblay our five passports and he asks us where we’re staying. We reply with “somewhere legal” and “it’s okay.” He smiles and tells us to have a great time. People told some of us there’s no way we’d get in cause of over five year old criminal history but they’re just naysayers, we got in no problem.
9 pm: We get a bunch of free Tremblay beers and the Dime Store party and then find really cheap bags of Canadian weed instantly. Good looks, you know who you are.
12:30 am: Hit the Trash Bar with a sick bowl in it. They have a dope backyard they say you can’t smoke in for some reason. Get told you can’t smoke back there 3 or 4 times, but never learn. It’s okay.
2 am: Find the hotel where some upstate homies are crashing and blow up their spot / sleep in the van. Ty says sorry for snoring.
Saturday 9 am: Go to a diner with a menu in all French, and then find a grocery store for beer. Also picked up a cooler than can fit 9 beers and ice, which we did our best to keep full. 30 racks in Canada ain’t cheap.
12 pm: Skated a DIY, saw a bunch of homies, got drunk and watched a really ridiculous skateboard contest.
8 pm: Block party with a bunch of bounce houses and shit. ATM and poutine hunts along with that. Montreal is full of beautifully shaped women, must be the poutine.
1 am: Find the only angry Canadian driving an uber and for some reason he thinks it’s a good idea to try and square up in the street. Didn’t flinch, he beat it.
1:15 am: Montreal police drive by and ask us if we’re smoking weed. We say no, and then they told us they could call the police on us. We just told them “it’s okay’ and they moved along. Saying “it’s okay” will almsot always work in Canada.
2 am: Found a hotel room floor.
Sunday roughly 11 am: Chill at the Big O. Smoke.
1 pm: Crew of fifteen skate the boob spot. Stack clips, roll up, fill the cooler a few times, and then head to meet up for street events.
3 pm: Miss hillbomb event cause the boobs were too good. Get to Peace and watch a bunch of skaters one up Steve Berra.
10 pm: Go bowling, play pool, roll up, completely overwhelm the bartender, get Rick Howard to give you two beers he accidentally bough and then convince the bartender to give us unopened cans of ginger ale beer for the morning. Straight to the cooler.
3 am: Follow a yellow pickup truck to Ludo’s place and get lsot a few times. Crash in the van or the floor. Thanks Ludo, you have a cool cat.
Monday 7 am: Get lost in the most industrialized section of Montreal without water or food in the van for over an hour, only ginger ale beer. Then find a Canadian McDonalds.
9 am: Jeff and Vinny stack clips at the Big O.
5 pm: Approach the US Border, get selected for secondary search. When you go inside if you go straight to a piss, they’ll freak out and stop you midstream and make you wait until you’ve been interview and searched. It doesn’t matter that they’re right at the entrance with huge signs and completely unlocked. We told them “it’s okay, I’m just peeing’ and they were not having it. Clearly back in the states.
7:30 pm: Arrive at JFK to put a carcass on a plane back to SF.
