Traverse the pacific. Exchange your dough. Buy a new toothbrush and a face mask. Eat kimchi and bimbap and pig intestines and all that. Drink soju with strangers in Hongdae Park. “Cass is ass and Hite is shite; I fuck with OB, though.”

Bring wax, soap works too, with you everywhere- marble and tile, marble and tile, virgin spots, crazy banks and natural transition. Mad security but that doesn’t matter; there’s so many fuckin spots. Take the train a lot, Seoul is goddam huge. 10 million motherfuckers.

Suicide rate is rising…men wear makeup and young girls get plastic surgery to appear westernized. No weed, unless you want to spend 100,000 won on a gram and risk getting snitched on by the dealer himself. No drugs means no junkies, though. That’s refreshing. The homeless are scarce. Crime is scarce. Respect the elderly. Don’t be a dick and blow up spots for the locals. Eat a lot. Drink a lot.

Don’t sleep. Go to a raccoon cafe. Skate the full pipe at Yongsan Station. The clubs in Hongdae don’t close; couples wearing matching kits dance when the song says dance, eat when the song says eat. Learn some Korean. The women are gorgeous. Drink and skate. Don’t sleep. Seoul is rad.