Did you know Nas once unfolded the scroll to plant seeds that would later stampede the globe?

Yup, that was before the kid got his chipped tooth fixed.

Has he succeeded? 2020 is pretty gnarly. So far. How’s your year going?

Not too bad. Been out of work since the whole quarantine. So a lot more time to skate. This year has definitely been gnarly though. Even The Undertaker is over it.

Yeah, for sure. I’m gonna need him to Tombstone Piledrive this whole entire year into the casket.

It’s not all bad, though. Rumor has it you’re working on a new video. Can you give us a taste of what to expect?

Yeah, been in the works for awhile now. It’ll be like 50/50 Philly and Atlantic City. Basically just a video of friends who I skate with regularly.

Sick. You’ve directed and costarred in some legendary videos throughout the years. Some of them are in the vaults, locked up, offline. Is there a method to the madness? Will they ever see the light of day? The streets want to know. I’m asking for a friend.

Yeah, I have just have so many tapes, it’s kind of overwhelming. But I do plan on sorting them out and putting them up or making little edits. Definitely need to do it for my friends.

Hell yeah the streets will be happy to to hear that. How’d you start skateboarding?

I got into skating from my older brother, Joel. He would let me borrow his board and I just got hooked. He pretty much influenced everything I still do to this day.

Joel was the man. I remember he would shred the ramp in your backyard. I’d call him Keith Hufnagle and he’d call me Beetlejuice haha.

Do you have any favorite memories of Joel growing up?

Pretty much all the times we skated together are my favorite. Just building ghetto ramps and literally skating all day, everyday.

Shoutout to Joel! I remember you guys had a rap group called the Lunatics! Who would win in a horror core battle: Lunatics or Gravediggaz?

Haha man. I don’t know. Lunatics were on some other shit.

Haha can we get a bar or 2? The rap world needs it right now.

Nah, Psychotic Sasquatch is hibernating.

Haha I don’t wanna be out in the Boston crab, my bad. What’s some crazy memory you have of LOVE park? Roll the dice.

Besides the amazing skating. The one that’s coming to mind right now is when that bummed got maced and hit with a board in the face back in the day. You and me were both there. When the board hit him in the head, it was so loud, it like echoed throughout center city. Years later, it turns out Mulhern was actually there that day too but we didn’t know each other.

Yeah dude, that was such a crazy day. The head crack heard around the world. That was the most polarizing moment I’ve ever seen, between skateboarders and the love park residents.

We were really fortunate to grow up and skate Philly, NYC, and DC during their golden years. Could you tell us about the real MVP of those missions, your dad and my other dad?

Joe Potatoe. My dad was very supportive of us skating. When we were little kids, he’d drop us all off at skate spots and go do who knows what. I remember back in the undercover cop days at Love Park. He’d tell me not to wear bright colors, so that I wouldn’t stand out to the cops as much.

You, like myself, love NJ. What makes New Jersey a superior state?

Fred Gall, Jack Nicholson, King Kong Bundy, The Toxic Avenger, The lady who shot Andy Warhol. The list goes on…

You’ve been ripping lately with a new hashtag #nocolonstillrollin. You showed true ultimate Warrior type strength in coming back from a serious health issue. Looking back at how far you’ve come, what advice would present day you give to yourself when you felt your worst?

There’s not enough pages in this mag to really explain all the heath problems and surgeries I’ve gone through. I have an auto immune disease that has left me with no large intestines and an ostomy bag. So literally no colon still rollin. I wish I had good advice, I hope the worst of it is over, but it’s still a struggle everyday.

You’re on of my personal life heroes, so I’m rooting for you every day, gawd. Thank you for your time! Any final words before we end?

Make Mark Humienik pro.